- Some people stay longer in an hour than others can in a week. – William Dean Howells
- Don’t look now, but there’s one too many in this room and I think it’s you. – Groucho Marx
- Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others. – Winston Churchill
- I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it. – Groucho Marx
- Gee, what a terrific party. Later on we’ll get some fluid and embalm each other. – Neil Simon
- As entertaining as watching a potato bake. – Marc Savlov
- I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. – Mark Twain
- He’s completely unspoiled by failure. – Noel Coward
- The gods too are fond of a joke. – Aristotle
- The higher a monkey climbs, the more you see of its behind. – Joseph Stilwell
- Fine words! I wonder where you stole them. – Jonathan Swift
- Here’s where we get out the thesaurus and look up synonyms for “garbage.” – Mike LaSalle
- Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome. – Oscar Levant
- We’ve been through so much together, and most of it was your fault. – Ashleigh Brilliant
- His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork. – Mae West
Pursuing Truth, Goodness, and Beauty