Pursuing Truth, Goodness, and Beauty
A family had twin boys whose only resemblance to each other was their looks. If one felt it was too hot, the other thought it was too cold. If one said the TV was too loud, the other claimed the volume needed to be turned up. Opposite in every way, one was an eternal optimist,…
“People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.” “Some people see things that are and ask, ‘Why?’ Some people dream of things that never were and ask, ‘Why not?’ Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that.” “My advice: just keep moving straight…
Here are some St. Valentine memes to share on Twitter, Facebook, where you might. Enjoy the laughs! #1 The politics of Love #2 The Big VD #3 It’s za thing this year… #4 You gotta love him #5 Dear Mr. President [pun alert!!] #6 I know what V is for… # 7 I don’t like…
Today’s global challenges require the North Pole to continue to look for better, more competitive steps. Effective immediately, the following economy measures are to take place in the “Twelve Days of Christmas” subsidiary. The partridge will be retained, but the pear tree never turned out to be the cash crop forecasted. It will be replaced…
Cryptic Christmas Card A man sent his friend a cryptic Christmas card. It read: A B C D E F G H I J K M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z. The recipient puzzled over it for weeks, finally gave up and wrote asking for an explanation….
10. Hey! There’s a gift! 9. Well, well, well … 8. Boy, if I had not recently shot up 4 sizes that would’ve fit. 7. This is perfect for wearing around the basement. 6. Gosh. I hope this never catches fire! It is fire season though. There are lots of unexplained fires. 5. If the…
We just realized that we provided a recipe for Greek Christmas Cookies this week without forwarding any rules to help you through the season… Here are some Holiday Cookie Rules. If you eat a Christmas cookie fresh out of the oven, it has no calories because everyone knows that the first cookie is the test…
Here are some fun one-liners and jokes to get the laughter started at your Christmas gathering through this up-coming week. Why did no-one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on Ebay? – Because they were two deer What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? – Claustrophobic. What do you get when you…
Canada ALERT Re: Gonorrhea Lectim The Public Health Agency of Canada has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of this old disease. The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim. It’s pronounced “Gonna re-elect ’em,” and is capable of crippling our country as we know it. The disease is contracted through dangerous and high-risk behavior…
Q: What do you call a sophisticated American?/ A: Canadian. Q: What are the two seasons of weather in Canada? / A: Six months of winter and six months of poor snowmobiling. Q: What does a Canadian say when you step on his foot? / A: “Sorry” Q: How do you empty a swimming pool…
Q: What’s the hardest part of learning to ride a bike? A: The pavement. Q: What do you get if you cross a bike and a flower? A: Bicycle petals! Q: What do you call a professional cyclist who just broke up with his girlfriend? A: Homeless A cyclist lying on…
Having already downed a few power drinks, she turned around, faced me, looked me straight in the eye and said, “Listen here. I will screw anybody, anytime, anywhere, their place, my place, in the car, front door, back door, on the ground, standing up, sitting down, naked or with clothes on… It doesn’t matter to…
I asked my friend’s little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be Prime Minister of Canada some day. Both of her parents, NDP supporters, were standing there, so I asked her, “If you were Prime Minister what would be the first thing you would do?” She…
Six Irish men were playing poker when one of them played a bad hand and died. The rest drew straws to see who would tell his wife. One man draws the shortest straw and goes to his friend’s house to tell the wife. The man says to her, “Your husband lost some money in the…
10. You get winded from knocking on the door. 9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you. 8. You ask for high fiber candy only. 7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over. 6. People say, “Great Keith Richards mask!” and you’re not…
Bob Hill and his new wife Betty were vacationing in Europe….as it happens, near Transylvania. They were driving in a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It was late and raining very hard. Bob could barely see the road in front of the car. Suddenly, the car skids out of control! Bob attempts to…
(This story is best recounted saying out loud.) A group of 15 year old boys discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was agreed they would meet at the McDonald’s next to Captain Jack’s Seafood Grille because they only had six dollars among them, they could ride their bikes there and Jennie Webster, that…
Here’s a timeless lesson on how consultants can make a difference for an organization. Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I noticed…
Some years ago a small rural town in Spain twinned with a similar town in Greece. The mayor of the Greek town visited the Spanish town. When he saw the palatial mansion belonging to the Spanish mayor, he wondered aloud how on earth he could afford such a house. The Spaniard replied, “You see that…
Steven Wright is an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical and sometimes nonsensical observations, non sequiturs and one-liners. Here is a generous serving of wit from America’s funny-man Steven Wright. I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize. Borrow money from pessimists…