Pursuing Truth, Goodness, and Beauty
Here’s a short story of a wonderful chance encounter… A man was dining alone in a fancy restaurant and there was a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He had been checking her out since he sat down but lacked the nerve to talk with her. Suddenly she sneezed, and her glass eye…
“Time is like a river. You cannot touch the water twice, because the flow that has passed will never pass again. Enjoy every moment of life. “As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family…
On the first day, God created the dog and said: “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.” The dog said: “That’s a long time to be barking. How about only ten…
Why can’t women put on mascara and men shave with their mouth closed? Why do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage? Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?…
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just piss off and leave me alone. Sex is like air. It’s not that important unless you aren’t getting any. No one…
1. It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally. 2. What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question? 3. Three logicians walk into a bar. The bartender asks, “Do all of you want a drink?” The first logician says, “I don’t know.” The…
CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD: Leaps tall building in a single bound; is more powerful than a locomotive; is faster than a speeding bullet; walks on water; discusses policy with God. PRESIDENT: Leaps short buildings in a single bound; is more powerful than a switch engine; is just as fast as a speeding bullet; walks on…
Once upon a time, in a Canadian town, a man appeared and announced to the town folks that he would buy beavers for $10 each. The Canucks seeing that there were many beavers around, went out to the nearby ponds and forest, and started trapping them. The man bought thousands at $10 and as…
Here are a few one-liners, puns and jokes relating to social media to insert in your next presentation – or in your next conversation with a tech-fearing person. You just might be addicted to Social Media if you have more facebook friends than in real life… or if you tweet more than you talk when…
What is happening in the United States and Europe is enough to drive you to drink… Helga is the proprietor of a bar. She realizes that virtually all of her customers are unemployed alcoholics and, as such, can no longer afford to patronize her bar. To solve this problem she comes up with a new…
Some people stay longer in an hour than others can in a week. – William Dean Howells Don’t look now, but there’s one too many in this room and I think it’s you. – Groucho Marx Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others. – Winston Churchill I’ve had a perfectly wonderful…
We received this e-mail yesterday – leaving us muttering aloud if this is actually the case… Can you imagine running the country with these numbers? United States Tax revenue: $2,170,000,000,000 Fed budget: $3,820,000,000,000 New debt: $ 1,650,000,000,000 National debt: $14,271,000,000,000 Recent budget cut: $ 38,500,000,000 Now, remove 8 zeros and pretend it’s a household budget. Annual…
The Eagle and the Rabbit An eagle was sitting in a tree resting, doing nothing….. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, ‘Can I also sit like you and do nothing?’ The eagle answered: ‘Sure, why not.’ So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a…
A Washington DC airport ticket agent offers us a glimpse of some of the astoundingly ignorant public she is required to service. These exchanges would be hilarious – if they weren’t true. A Kansas Congressman’s staffer called wanting to go to Cape Town. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport…